I Am Definitely Not Trouble Notebook
Each of these definitely not thinly veiled insults can be paired up to get your point across. An 'I am definitely not late (again)' notebook for a friend would work rather humorously with a watch. 'I am definitely not forgetful' pen accompanied by a personal diary is both thoughtful and funny (the particular flavour of gift-giving I usually strive for).
Wide ruled on the right hand side
Plain on the left