I Am Definitely Not Forgetful Notebook
Each of these definitely not thinly veiled insults can be paired up to get your point across. An 'I am definitely not late (again)' notebook for a friend would work rather humorously with a watch. 'I am definitely not forgetful' pen accompanied by a personal diary is both thoughtful and funny (the particular flavour of gift-giving I usually strive for).
Height (cm) 15.5
Width (cm) 11.3
Thickness (cm) 1.5